I recently did a 3 day fast to get rid of the spirit of fear regarding two things God revealed to me in year 2020. I’m allowing fear to be a thing of the past. So, what is it? It’s the blog I’ve dreaded to post. Why have I been dreading to type and post this blog? It is because it’s a faith thing. I’ve been afraid, but not anymore. I feel like if I don’t discuss it, it is because I don’t believe God will make good on His word. What exactly did God reveal to me at the end of 2020? Two things:
- Marriage
- Me having another daughter.
At the end of 2020, marriage began to linger in my spirit, but I paid no attention. Marriage for me, was one of those things I didn’t care happened or not. I was perfectly fine being a rich single woman. I was engaged in 2014 and it was called off (thank God), so the idea of marriage is not one I wanted to be a part of.
On 2/19/2021, I dreamt I was engaged but lost the engagement ring. I was told not to worry about the ring. That was the first dream I wrote in my dream journal about marriage. I had many dreams about marriage; Going back and forth with God about having zero interest in it, and that I would rather be single. I even thought the dreams were from the enemy.
A few dreams later I realized it was not the enemy, but I was not sure it was God either. I decided to do the Daniel fast. I read the story of Daniel and how he wanted an answer from God. Daniel mourned for three weeks because he couldn’t understand the vision that came to him. To receive an answer Daniel fasted for 21 days.
“In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.” (Daniel 10:2-3)
Daniel 10:12-14 reads, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come because of your words. But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days...”
I thought, if the angel came to talk to Daniel after he fasted, then maybe I should do the 21-day fast, and God could make it clear to me if these dreams were from Him or not. On 2/7/2023, God came to me in a dream, on the second day of the fast. In this dream, I saw a white glowing being down on one knee, a specific man to the left of the glowing being on the same knee, and then a line of men going horizontally to the left, all down on the same knee. Then God spoke to me.
He said, “The glowing being represents Me. You have to marry Me first and submit to My will before you become a wife. The man beside Me, you can marry if you wait on Me to do what I am going to do in his life. The horizontal line of men represents other options if you choose not to wait on the second option. Whoever you choose to marry, I will bless the marriage, but if you choose the second option, something beautiful will come out of it for My kingdom.” I continued the remaining 19 days of the fast, even adding an extra day, making it a total of 22 days.
I had clear understanding that these dreams were not from the enemy, but from God. This has been one heck of a waiting period. I’ve been single for 4 years, and what I’ve decided to do in the timeframe is work on my spiritual relationship with God, work on my mental state, continue being a great mom to my son, and allow God to heal and deliver me from anything, before entering into marriage with the spouse of my choice. I got saved on 6/6/2023 and became Jesus’s bride, on 6/7/2023.
Since then, I have been preparing to become an actual wife – specifically the kind of wife (Proverbs 31) speaks about. So far, so good! However, the waiting is tiresome. I know if I don’t complain, instead, keep my eyes on God’s will and the call He has over my life, I won’t focus on the timing but on the kingdom instead.
Likewise, at the end of 2020, God also showed me pregnant. In the dream, I was pregnant and told I would have another daughter. God named her as well. I laughed at that dream and ignored it as if it didn’t happen. For those of you who may not have heard my testimony, I lost my firstborn at 8 1/2 months pregnant. She was stillborn.
On 12/2/2021 I dreamt I was at a restaurant with some cousins and there was a word on a poster inside the restaurant. I had not seen the word or spelling before. I sounded it out, and it was not a word, but a name. The same name God told me a year prior, to name my daughter. The 4 letter name was in white, big on the poster. The previous dream regarding me pregnant with a girl in 2020, showed me pregnant, and I heard the name God gave her. The 2021 dream revealed the spelling of the name.
In November or December of 2023, I had another dream. I was in a room where my promised daughter’s name was painted over a wall numerous times. A girl walked into the room. I pretended like I didn’t know what the name meant, so I asked her, “What does that word painted on the wall mean?” The girl in the dream said, “That’s your daughter’s name.” Afterward, I woke up.
To lose a baby that everyone was expecting me to have, caused me pain. On top of that a sense of embarrassment. When pregnant with my son I kept it a secret as much as I could out of fear of losing him. That same fear overcame me with this promise from God. Not only did God tell me that I was going to have another baby girl, but He also named her. I’m sharing this blog of promises to help others who feel hopeless.
I was engaged before, and it didn’t work out. I had a daughter before, who died. So, you can imagine why I was afraid to come out and talk about these promises God gave me. For the marriage, God gave me options. For the baby girl, God named her. When I submitted to God’s will, I also submitted to the will He has for my life – whatever that looks like. Before, I had no desire to marry, but God put the desire in my heart (for His kingdom). I longed for another daughter in my heart, but never spoke the words out loud, but God knows the secrets of our hearts. He said He would restore all I’ve lost, daughter included.
Today, I am fully embracing both promises. I believe they will come to pass and hope will come to others about their God-given promises.
And we know that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)